Bitcoin Cash is set to hard fork, and people are losing their heads

Let the gnashing of teeth begin.
Image: LADISLAV KUBE / GETTY

Nothing says the future of finance like a good old-fashioned meltdown, and the upcoming bitcoin cash hard fork has that in spades. This is thanks, in no small part, to a man named Craig Wright. 

Wright, derisively known as “Faketoshi” for his dubious claim that he is in fact Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto, has gone on a strange rant in support of his version of Bitcoin Cash’s (BCH) future known as Bitcoin SV (Satoshi’s Vision). 

Deep into a rambling, multi-day tweet bender, Wright has taken it upon himself to spew invective at anyone he believes threatens his plans for Bitcoin SV — especially those defending the Roger Ver-backed rival project Bitcoin ABC

But before we get too deep in the crypto weeds, some background is in order. 

Those of you whose brains have yet to be rendered functionally useless by cryptocurrency-related inanity may remember that last year Bitcoin itself experienced a so-called hard fork. The split was the result of a disagreement regarding the best way to scale a digital currency on its way to becoming bogged down by increased transactions and associated high fees, and gave birth to Bitcoin Cash (BCH) in the process. 

Bitcoin Cash is now poised to undergo its own Athena moment, scheduled for Nov. 15, with a totally new coin leaping forth from its progenitor’s head. More accurately, the fork will likely result in the creation of two separate coins — each updated from BCH in different ways — as the fight essentially boils down to what specific changes will be made to Bitcoin Cash (not whether to make changes at all). 

With us so far? Oh, and just to make everything more confusing, there are a total of three different proposals for how to best move forward. 

But while the end goal is to improve BCH, no one can quite agree on just what exactly that means. That’s left prominent members of the Bitcoin Cash community all vying for attention with their competing technical solutions. 

And there’s a lot a stake. Bitcoin cash is the fourth largest cryptocurrency by market cap, and whichever proposal gets the most support will likely take a majority of mining power with it. Without that power, the left behind coin could potentially wither — dragging its dollar value down with it.

So with both money and prestige on the line, Wright has decided to fully freak out. 

“And, no you ABSOLUTE cuck,” he tweeted on Nov. 13 in response to a defense of Bitcoin ABC. “Bitcoin IS not even close to a soy boy commitee. It is all use hard assed buggers bending you over to show you the light.  It is capitalism. Enjoy”

Reassuring, right? That tweet was just one of many off-the-rails outbursts from the self-proclaimed Bitcoin creator, and definitely displayed the level of maturity you’d hope to find in someone attempting to steer a cryptocurrency to a brighter future. 

And then there’s the supposed email he sent to Roger Ver. Ver, for those blissfully unaware, was an early promoter of and investor in bitcoin, who later became a full on bitcoin cash evangelist. He now supports Bitcoin ABC. In a Nov. 8 YouTube video, Ver shared what he said was an email to him from Wright.

Image: screenshot / youtube

In the supposed email, Wright once again pushes the questionable claim that he is Satoshi, and threatens Ver with “war.” 

Ver, at least, appears willing to admit that maybe — just maybe — he screwed up by aligning himself with Wright in the past. 

“It’s never easy to admit that you’ve been fooled,” he says in the YouTube video. “Maybe I’ve been fooled.” 

The video, embedded below, continues with Ver making a tortured analogy about Bitcoin ABC’s attempt to exist separately from Bitcoin SV.

“If you wife wants a divorce, you don’t lock her in the closet and say ‘no.'”

So, with just a few days to go until the planned hard fork, the Bitcoin Cash community is faced with an embarrassing meltdown and threats of “war.” 

And while whether Bitcoin ABC or Bitcoin SV will ultimately reign supreme is presently anyone’s guess, one thing is for sure: Dogecoin is starting to look a lot more reasonable.

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/bitcoin-cash-hard-fork/

Walking Bitconnect meme Carlos Matos calls bitcoin a scam

BITCONNNNNEEEEEEECT!!!!
Image: screenshot bitconnect

You know you’re in trouble when you’ve lost Carlos Matos.

The walking meme made famous by his unbridled enthusiasm for Bitconnect, a cryptocurrency project strongly resembling a Ponzi scheme that shut down its lending and exchange platform in January, is now here to offer some measured words of caution. Namely, stay the hell away from bitcoin

“Bitcoin Is A Scam,” he tweeted on October 26. “Sell Everything It’s NEVER Going Back Up”

Matos, of course, is best known for promoting a likely scam himself. He launched into meme infamy in October of 2017 after a video of him singing Bitconnect’s praises went viral. 

Importantly, this was all before the price of a BCC token shot up to around $437, and then crashed back down to its current price of $.67. 

If you haven’t seen the clip, recorded at a Bitconnect gala in Thailand, you should go ahead and watch it now. We’ll wait. 

His proclamations of “I love Bitconnect!” were endlessly remixed, and Matos — a self-proclaimed Bitconnect investor — quickly became the face of the project.

Needless to say, none of this worked out so well for him. Even John Oliver took a swing at Matos on Last Week Tonight.

And while Matos surely regrets the day he heard of Bitconnect, you can’t say he didn’t learn anything from the mess he helped create. 

Which, to be clear, is that bitcoin is a scam. 

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/bitconnect-carlos-matos-bitcoin-scam/

Russian government hackers mined bitcoin to fund attacks

Distributed chaos.
Image: writerfantast / getty

People are definitely spending bitcoin, just maybe not the kind of people proponents of cryptocurrency adoption had in mind. 

A lengthy indictment from the Justice Department dropped today, accusing seven Russian intelligence officers of conspiring to hack anti-doping agencies around the world in retaliation for their efforts to expose Russian athletic doping. And, at least according to the US officials, the GRU hacking group mined bitcoin to fund its efforts. 

“The pool of bitcoin generated from the GRU’s mining activity was used, for example, to pay a United States-based company to register the [phishing] domain wada-arna.org through a payment processing company located in the United States,” reads the indictment. “The conspirators used the same funding structure—and in some cases, the very same pool of funds—to purchase key accounts, servers, and domains used in their anti-doping related hacking activity.”

As a result, the Justice Department is charging the seven Russian officers with “[conspiring] to launder money through a web of transactions structured to capitalize on the perceived anonymity of cryptocurrencies such as bitcoin.”

Clearly, the GRU officers’ efforts at anonymity failed in the longterm. Their hacking efforts, on the other hand, appear to have largely succeeded. 

The indictment lays out how the group stole the medical information of around 250 athletes, and released that information — sometimes in altered form — to “damage the reputations of clean athletes from various countries by falsely claiming that such athletes were using banned or performance-enhancing drugs.”

Interestingly, the officers — operating under guise of a hacking group named Fancy Bear — aggressively courted reporters in an effort to spread their propaganda. The indictment claims they hit up around 116 reporters on Twitter offering access to the hacked and secretly altered docs, and exchanged emails with around 70 reporters. 

The list of the GRU’s targets, at least in this specific campaign which reportedly began as earlier as 2014, include organizations based in the U.S., Canada, Switzerland, and Mexico. Specifically, the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, the World Anti-Doping Agency, the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport, the International Association of Athletics Federations, The Court of Arbitration for Sport, and FIFA were all targets. 

But there was more. The same hackers also hit a Pennsylvania nuclear energy company, the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons, and the Spiez Swiss Chemical Laboratory. The latter had done work analyzing “the chemical agent connected to the poisonings of a former GRU officer and others in the United Kingdom,” notes the indictment. 

Essentially, it reads as if this crew was out for revenge on behalf of the Russian government. It just so happens that bitcoin paved the particular road there. 

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/russian-hackers-bitcoin-fund-attackts/

Watching two bitcoin ‘celebs’ arguing poolside will scare you off crypto forever

Making pool parties seem lame since 2009.
Image: screenshot/coinsbank

The cruise ship wasn’t big enough for the both of them. 

On September 10, somewhere in the Mediterranean, two well-known rivals in the cryptocurrency space stood awkwardly poolside. A crowd, sporting a mix of cryptocurrency-themed t-shirts and bikinis, lounged nearby on the ship’s upper deck. One man, sweatpants sloshing in the water, steadied a tripod. The Bitcoin versus Bitcoin Cash debate was about to begin. 

It only took 37 seconds to spiral out of control. 

The CoinsBank Blockchain Cruise, chartered to take cryptocurrency die-hards from Barcelona, to Monaco, to Ibiza, and then back, was in its fourth day, and a highly billed event had managed to drag a few likely hung over attendees out from their below-deck cabins. Jimmy Song, a venture partner at Blockchain Capital LLC, was to argue the relative merits of Bitcoin (BTC). Early Bitcoin adoptee and Bitcoin Cash evangelist, Rover Ver, was to speak on behalf of Bitcoin Cash (BCH). 

Bitcoin Cash was born following a 2017 Bitcoin hard fork, and despite BTC’s and BCH’s shared history, the two cryptocurrencies and their respective boosters have become the blockchain’s very own Montagues and Capulets — each disparaging the other at every conceivable opportunity, with both sides lobbing accusations of fraud and deception. 

It was perhaps to be expected that the debate wouldn’t go smoothly, but just how quickly it went off the rails surprised even those in attendance. 

Song, cowboy hat atop his head and microphone in hand, attempted to introduce the format of the event — a “Lincoln-Douglas style debate” — but was soon interrupted by Ver. 

Couldn’t even get started.

Image: screenshot/coinsbank

Shouts of “no Roger” emanated from the crowd, as Ver told the audience to “calm down.”

It quickly spun out from there, with Song repeatedly telling Ver to “sit down” as Ver angled for the microphone. 

“Do you want to debate me or not,” Song demanded. “OK then sit down,” he repeated as he stood behind the podium. 

Bickering over whether or not Ver would get a one-minute introduction before the official start of the debate continued on, with Song addressing the crowd and Ver shouting at the top of his lungs. 

They heatedly yelled over each other as the crowd jeered. 

Three minutes had passed, and things were not going well. And then someone handed Ver a mic.

You better believe Song wasn’t having that, and so he stormed offstage saying he was “refusing to do the debate.”

Finally with the stage all to himself, Ver attempted to speak but was immediately shouted down by an angry, shirtless man yelling from the pool. And that’s all just the first five minutes. The video is over 40 minutes long. 

In the end, despite all the bullshit, one clear consensus did manage to emerge: If these people are the future of finance, then we should all pray for a return to the past. 

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/blockchain-cruise-bitcoin-fight/

Bitcoin payments at Starbucks aren’t happening anytime soon

Sorry, fiat only.
Image: Chris Wong/S3studio/Getty Images

Recent news that Starbucks has partnered with Microsoft, the International Exchange, and a few other companies to launch a cryptocurrency venture called Bakkt has fueled reports that Starbucks is getting ready to start accepting Bitcoin in its stores. 

Speaking to Motherboard, however, the company has stated that this is not true. 

“Customers will not be able to pay for Frappuccinos with bitcoin,” a Starbucks spokesperson told the outlet, refuting a CNBC story published Friday.

Starbucks’ press release, dated Aug. 1, said Bakkt will be a “regulated, global ecosystem for digital assets” that will enable customers and institutions “to buy, sell, store, and spend digital assets on a seamless global network.”

But Bakkt will initially only let users trade and convert Bitcoin into fiat currencies, which (obviously) can be used at Starbucks.

Being the first significant foray the cryptocurrency space by Starbucks, as well as a platform that will likely bring Bitcoin to the attention of mainstream users, Bakkt is a boon for cryptocurrency proponents. But right now, it appears Starbucks is more interested in helping customers turn bitcoins into dollars than actually using them for purchases at its stores. 

A Starbucks spokesperson told Motherboard that the company will “continue to talk with customers and regulators as the space evolves,” but it appears that directly spending Bitcoin or any other cryptocurrency at Starbucks is still ways off. 

Bitcoin’s price has been on the decline since late July, when it hit a two-month high of $8,340 according to CoinMarketCap. Right now, Bitcoin is trading at $6,993 with a market capitalization of $120 billion. 

Disclosure: The author of this text owns, or has recently owned, a number of cryptocurrencies, including BTC and ETH.

Read more: https://mashable.com/2018/08/06/starbucks-bitcoin/

Russian hackers used bitcoin to fund election interference, so prepare for FUD

The indictment filed today against 12 Russians accused of, among other things, hacking the DNC and undermining Hillary Clinton’s campaign also notes that the alleged hackers paid for their nefarious deeds with bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. This unsavory application of one of tech’s current darlings will almost certainly be wielded against it by opportunists of all stripes.

It is perhaps the most popular and realistic argument against cryptocurrency that it enables anonymous transactions globally and at scale, no exception made for Russian intelligence or ISIS. So the news that a prominent and controversial technology was used to fund state-sponsored cyber attacks will not be passed over by its critics.

Department of Justice indicts 12 Russian intelligence officers for Clinton email hacks

You can expect bluster on cable news and some sharp words from lawmakers, who will also probably issue some kind of public denouncement of cryptocurrencies and call for more stringent regulation. It’s only natural: their constituencies will hear that Russians are using bitcoin to hack the election systems and take it at face value. They have to say something.

But this knee-jerk criticism is misguided and hypocritical for several reasons.

First is that it’s not as anonymous and mysterious as critics make out. The details in the indictment actually provide an interesting example (far from the first) of the limits of cryptocurrency’s ability to obscure its users’ activities.

The painstaking research of the special investigator’s team revealed the approximate amounts and methods involved, and although there is a veneer of anonymity in that addresses are not inherently tied to identities, it is far from impossible to establish ownership. Not that they didn’t try, as the indictment shows:

The Defendants conspired to launder the equivalent of more than $95,000 through a web of transactions structured to capitalize on the perceived anonymity of cryptocurrencies such as bitcoin.

They also enlisted the assistance of one or more third-party exchangers who facilitated layers transactions through digital currency exchange platforms providing heightened anonymity.

But the process of laundering, after all, becomes rather difficult when there is an immutable, peer-maintained record of every penny being pushed around. Small slip-ups in the team’s operational security allowed investigators to tie, for example, an email address used to access a given bitcoin wallet with the one used to pay for a VPN.

[U]sing funds in a bitcoin address, the Conspirators purchased a VPN account, which they later used to log into the @Guccifer_2 Twitter account. The remaining funds from that bitcoin address were then used […] to lease a Malaysian server that hosted the dcleaks.com website.

It’s likely that the very same distributed ledger technology that allows for anonymous international payments in the first place also creates an invaluable investigative tool for those savvy enough to take advantage of it. So although bitcoin has its shady side, it’s far from perfect secrecy, especially when exposed to the privileges of a federal investigative team.

The second reason the criticism will be hollow is that it doesn’t provide much in the way of new capabilities for those who wish to keep secret their activities online.

There are established methods used by nation-states and garden-variety hackers and criminals alike that minimize or eliminate the possibility of tracking. Money laundering is performed at huge volumes worldwide and there are shady banks, loopholes and puppet organizations peppered across the globe.

Cryptocurrencies are convenient for paying for things online because there are a number of vendors (dwindling, but they exist) that accept it straight, or if one is not available it is reasonably liquid and can be shifted easily. I feel sure that our own intelligence services are making good use of it.

On that note is the third reason this FUD will be risible: If we are going to address the problem of dark money influencing politics, using bitcoin for hacking activities doesn’t even amount to a rounding error and it is cynical prestidigitation that makes it appear more than such.

I won’t belabor the point, because it is surely topmost in many an American’s mind that cash funneled through Super PACs and offshore accounts, backroom deals and stock trades, favors for lobbyists and corporate “donators” and 20 other forms of pay-for-play in Washington are more of a clear and present danger than a handful of Russian operatives ineffectually obscuring peanuts payments for hosting fees and bribes.

Perhaps the administration would prefer scripture: “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

If anything these indictments are evidence only that cryptocurrency is here to stay, usable by you, or me, or an rival nation-state, or our own — just like any other financial instrument.

Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2018/07/13/russian-hackers-used-bitcoin-to-fund-election-interference-so-prepare-for-fud/

Congressman proposes banning bitcoin at House hearing

Burn the coins!
Image: D-Keine/getty

Look, cryptocurrency is complicated. We get it. What with all the different coins, tokens, ICOs, exchanges, scams, protocols, and DApps, it’s borderline impossible for the casual observer to keep it all straight. 

And so, with that in mind, let us now turn to approximately three combined hours of our elected officials rambling on about the blockchain and our decentralized future.

The fun started early Wednesday, when members of the House Committee on Agriculture held a hearing to discuss the future of the crypto-verse. 

“We should prohibit US persons from buying or mining cryptocurrencies.”

“This hearing will shed light on the promise of digital assets and the regulatory challenges facing this new asset class,” committee chairman Rep. K. Michael Conaway of Texas (R-Texas) explained. “Our committee has a deep interest in promoting strong markets for commodities of all types, including those emerging through new technology.”

But that wasn’t the only fun to be had today. Later in the afternoon, the House Financial Services Committee met to “examine the extent to which the United States government should consider cryptocurrencies as money and the potential domestic and global uses for cryptocurrencies.”

And what did we learn from this esteemed group? Well, for starters, that bitcoin’s got to go. 

“We should prohibit U.S. persons from buying or mining cryptocurrencies,” Rep. Brad Sherman of (D-Calif.) blasted from the podium. “Mining alone uses electricity which takes away from other needs and-or adds to the carbon footprint. As a store, as a medium of exchange, cryptocurrency accomplishes nothing except facilitating narcotics trafficking, terrorism, and tax evasion.”

Good ol’ Sherman.

Image: screenshot/house financial services committee 

Did you catch that? Mining uses electricity, and therefore should be banned. 

But not everyone agreed with Sherman. Conaway, in his closing statements, seemed to argue in favor of bitcoin — at least as opposed to more privacy-focused cryptocurrency like Monero or Zcash. 

“As long as the stupid criminals keep using bitcoin, we’ll be great,” he observed when commenting on the pseudonymous nature of bitcoin. 

Hear that, stupid criminals? Stick to bitcoin

Other fun gems include Rep. Collin Peterson (D-Minn.) admitting that “there’s a lot of things here that don’t make much sense to me.” And yet, Peterson actually seemed to have some relevant statistics at hand, like the fact that “over 80 percent of the initial coin offerings are scams.” 

Good on you, Peterson. 

Over all, the two hearings painted a picture of our elected officials attempting to wrap their heads around this brave new cryptoworld. And hey, that’s a good thing. Everyone has to start somewhere. 

After all, we can’t all be self-assured teen crypto millionaires

Read more: https://mashable.com/2018/07/18/congressional-cryptocurrency-hearing-ban-bitcoin/

Bitcoin just passed $7 thousand so BRING ON THE MEMES

$1,000,000 here we come!
Image: PESHKOVA/GETTY

Oh hell yeah. Bitcoin’s back, baby.

After languishing in the depressing realm of the six thousands for what seemed like forever, the price of bitcoin has skyrocketed straight to the moon! 

Well, skyrocketed past $7,000, anyway.

Yes, friends, it’s time to join the hordes of true believers on Twitter and Reddit in celebration. And while you’re at it, you definitely want to ignore the fact that last December, bitcoin briefly hit $19,000, which means that the current price is less than half of that. But you’re not going to let a little thing like context get in the way of your fun, right? 

Right. Let’s start things off with r/Bitcoin, which celebrated the destruction of the so-called “7k wall.” 

TFW you miss these memes.

Image: screenshot/reddit

And there’s definitely nothing remotely ironic about this roller coaster that only goes up. 

Always up.

Image: screenshot/reddit

Also, it isn’t a party without bitcoin choking out Warren Buffett!

Invest in memes.

Image: screenshot/reddit

Twitter also dropped some of the old-time favorites.

Meanwhile, presidential candidate John “I’ll eat my own dick on TV if Bitcoin doesn’t hit $1,000,000 by 2020″ McAfee has been surprisingly quiet about this rally, but we should expect celebratory comments from him any time now. 

Of course, those meddlesome nocoiners are trying to rain all over this cryptocurrency parade. 

But don’t let them yuck your yum! This price spike is totally organic, has nothing to do with fraud, and can only continue going up forever!

So bask in that sweet, sweet $7,000 feeling — it’s not like it could all come crumbling down in the blink of an eye. Again.

Read more: https://mashable.com/2018/07/17/bitcoin-passes-7-thousand/

Bitcoin price passes $7K bringing all 100 top coins up with it

Bitcoin is moving up, and it’s taking 99 of its best friends along for the ride. In the last 24 hours, every one of the top 100 coins by market cap was in the green, with 84 of them posting gains of over 5 percent. At the time of writing, Bitcoin was sitting at $7,310, up 14 percent in the last 7 days and up almost 10 percent in the last 24 hours.

CoinMarketCap Top 100

Bitcoin itself crossed the $7,000 mark for the first time in the last month, an indication — but no sure sign — that it might be shaking off a summer slump that’s seen prices plunge below $6,000 on more than one occasion. Bitcoin is quickly moving back toward early June norms around $7,500, though may meet resistance at $7,750. In March, Bitcoin dipped below the $10,000 mark and it’s been unable to mount a rally back above that level in the months since.

screenshot via CoinMarketCap

They may not last, but mid-July’s gains aren’t just a Bitcoin story. Out of the top 100 coins, 24 coins made double-digit gains in the last 24 hours, including 0x and Zcash, two coins recently tapped by Coinbase as potential assets that the platform is “exploring.” Big Bitcoin jumps normally lead the charge for altcoin growth, though seeing its peers so uniformly follow suit isn’t something you see every time the most prominent coin’s price shoots up.

So why is the price up? Potentially all or none of these reasons:

  • Yesterday, Coinbase shared the news that U.S. regulators will open the door for the exchange to list tokens that are categorizes as securities.
  • Last week, Coinbase announced it was exploring the addition of Cardano, Basic Attention Token, Stellar Lumens, Zcash and 0x.
  • At Goldman Sachs, current COO David Solomon will move into the chief executive role. Solomon is regarded as a cryptocurrency-friendly choice for CEO.
  • Asset manager BlackRock created a working group to examine blockchain and cryptocurrencies, though its CEO cautioned that he hasn’t observed “huge demand for cryptocurrencies.”
  • Japan’s LINE is launching a cryptocurrency exchange known as BitBox this month, though the token-to-token exchange won’t serve the U.S. or Japan.
  • The major Japanese financial firm SBI Holdings just opened its doors to traders on a cryptocurrency exchange based in the country.

As with any price shift, headlines in one part of the world are just a single rumble among the many invisible international seismic signals sending coins up or down on a given day. As one reads the tea leaves, it’s worth remembering that correlation ≠ causation when it comes to big price moves. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the tea.

Why is Bitcoin’s price down to two-month lows?

Disclosure: The author holds a very small position in some cryptocurrencies, mostly because it seemed like a fun idea back in 2013 and then she forgot about it. Regrettably, it is not enough for a Lambo.

Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2018/07/17/bitcoin-price-july-2018/

SEC comments about a proposed bitcoin ETF are as dumb as youd expect

Lit, dude. Just totally lit.
Image: Jag_cz/getty

Nothing quite captures the excitement of bitcoin like a proposed exchange-traded fund.

I mean, just say it out loud. Bitcoin ETF. It’s sexy, right? And if public comments submitted to the Securities and Exchange Commission in favor of the latest would-be fund are any indication, it’s also goddamn lit. 

But before this party pops off, some background: As Coindesk reported in late June, the SEC is considering allowing the creation of a bitcoin ETF. The fund, the brainchild of investment firm VanEck and blockchain startup SolidX, would allow futures exchange Cboe BZX Exchange, Inc. to list and trade SolidX Bitcoin Shares. 

According to the Cboe filing statement, “the Trust will invest in bitcoin only.” One share will be roughly equivalent to 25 bitcoin, notes CryptoSlate, and only accredited investors will get to play with this particular bag. 

The SEC, which has shut down previous attempts to create bitcoin ETFs, decided to open this proposal up for public comment. And the comments, well, they’re pretty great. 

Take this one, from someone who listed their name as Laosy Guesses.

Pure fire.

Image: Sec/screenshot

Yes, ETFs are so lit, my dude. 

Or how about this comment from Alex Hales, which suggests he’s hoping the SEC’s approval will pump up the price of bitcoin. Pump and dump for the win. 

Pump pump pump.

Image: sec/screenshot

And then there’s this guy, who seems to think that our long, national nightmare is soooo close to being over — assuming the SEC approves bitcoin ETFs. 

Save us, SEC.

Image: sec/screenshot

We shouldn’t overlook the simple and often effective appeal to ego. Our man Rahsaan has that covered. “You’ll be regarded as financial visionaries,” he tells the SEC. “Please,” he begs, “take us under your wing.”

Holding our hands.

Image: sec/screenshot

Yes, spread out those wings, dear SEC — but not for any fans of Bitcoin Cash. This party is for institutional bitcoin investors only. 

Of course, if flattery doesn’t work, there’s always the opposite approach: Let the SEC know you think it’s garbage. 

Quit your messing.

Image: sec/screenshot

Unfortunately for our commenting friends, we don’t yet know whether or not the SEC will approve a bitcoin ETF this time around. But we do know one thing for sure: Whatever the SEC decides, it’s going to be liiiiiiiiiit.

Read more: https://mashable.com/2018/07/10/sec-public-comments-bitcoin-etf/